Questions...

The SOX blog has been silent for a while, but it’s time to crank up again. I have been somewhat overwhelmed dealing with doctors in Jackson, Nashville, and Houston. My wife is hanging in there, however, a long way from the finish line. Thanks for all of your prayers and support.


And now a Blog!

The season is just around the corner! Enjoy Christmas and then get ready for a great year.

Recently, I have been asked questions pertaining to various topics by my pitching parents and by a few SOX parents. In this blog, l will answer these questions from my perspective. The questions have centered on some basic concepts that impact the development of your son.

Before I begin, I want to qualify every answer with this statement, “it depends...” Please remember that your child is only 7-12 years old and may not yet have formed a work ethic that is comparable to a major league athlete. For goodness sake, they are kids. Let them be kids. They need to enjoy friends, games, other sports, etc. Diversity is good for most kids. And, be PATIENT!

From my experience I would offer the following advice…

Question… What is enough? How much do I push him? Do I force my son to work out?

Answer… There is a balance in all of this. As a parent, you have to determine what it is. Like I said earlier, they cannot be expected to have the regimen of a MLB player. However, they do need to work on skills. And this work needs to be centered on REPITITION of fundamentals. Baseball is a game of repetition. For this stuff to have an impact on their development, they have to get to the point where they (not you) want to work (hit, field, throw, pitch). Teach them discipline and organization. And, be PATIENT!

Question… What is my role as parent in his development regarding baseball?

Answer… Encourage, support, and provide opportunities. Be there for them, provide guidance and advice, and get them in front of people who can not only teach, but mentor as well. Help them to enjoy what they do (have fun) and try to remove pressure from them. Encourage them when they fail (which they will). Allow them to play their way onto a team, into the lineup and a position, and a spot on the mound. Let them do it! Go to a game and just watch and cheer every player when they do well instead of barking instructions at your son when he is hitting or pitching. You may be amazed at the results. And, be PATIENT!

Question… Do I have a realistic evaluation of my son?

Answer… No, you probably don’t! But you can learn, and so can your child. I have noticed two very detrimental attitudes from parents regarding this. They are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

One is to believe your child can do no wrong, is better than everyone else, and deserves to hit in the middle of the lineup or be the #1 pitcher or play shortstop, regardless of the facts or needs of the team. We all (including me) have a tendency to look at our children through rose colored glasses and believe they are better than they actually are. We have trouble seeing faults and weaknesses.

The second negative is this… Some always put their child down, always critical of their effort and performance. It’s never good enough. You place unrealistic demands on your child to make every play, get every hit, and make every pitch. You could not do it, so why would you expect your child to. Story… I was working with one of my pitching students recently with a parent who kept putting pressure on them. They constantly said things like, “why can’t you do that?” “It’s not that hard.” After listening to this unproductive prodding for a couple of weeks and determining that it was a habit and pattern, I (very politely and respectively), asked the parent to try to do what I was trying to get the son to do. Guess what? The parent could not do it either and looked worse than the child. The criticism stopped! The criticism from this parent was holding the kid back so that he had no chance of making this adjustment. And, guess what? After a few weeks of no negativity and pressure from the parent, the child finally made the adjustment.

In regard to evaluation, I would also say that you need to let us evaluate. You have been provided with a means of getting an evaluation every time you attend a lesson or group workout with one of our instructors. Take advantage of this! And, be PATIENT!

Question… What should my priorities be?

Answer… Teach your son to:

• Excel at being a member of the team

• Accept his role based on team needs, not individual desires. Your child’s role may change from year to year and team to team because of the makeup of each team.

• Be confident, yet humble. He must believe in himself and his abilities, but cannot be arrogant.

• Learn the principle of, “you reap what you sow”

• Be a servant, not always demanding his way

• Develop a good attitude. I had this quote from Zig Ziglar on the wall in my locker room when I coached, “Out of the soul of man flow his attitudes. And his attitude, not his aptitude, will determine his altitude in life. In the final analysis, the depth of his spirit will determine the height of his success.” Character is vital!

• Have high expectations and set lofty goals (but be realistic).

• Play hard, play to win (not just go 4 for 4, but to help his team win).

• Learn this principle and develop this attitude… “Make (not demand) the coach play you… because of attitude, effort, improvement, performance… don’t give me something I don’t deserve, but if I prove it, give me a chance.

• Trust, love, believe, and hope

Something to think about… Please feel free to call or email me whenever you have questions. That’s what I’m here for. And, be PATIENT!